Take care of yourself first, before being of service.

 Tanja Heffner, Unsplash

Tanja Heffner, Unsplash

During meditation this morning, I realized that I have PTSD from my PPD, which is part of the reason I've been blocked from feeling like being of service...

Being of service is what everyone from Marianne Williamson to Oprah to Mother Teresa say is the key to creating a life that enables you to truly amplify the results you want to see.

Waking up every morning and asking, "How can I be used to serve, Divine? What would you have me do?"

I COULDN'T ask this question for the longest time.

I used to LOVE serving.

I'd volunteer left and right.

I always had a soft spot for people with special needs and even created a Karma Yoga program in San Diego, so that people who were less privileged could benefit from this beautiful practice.

I placed yoga teachers in hospice facilities, brought together special needs men and qualified to participate in weekly classes, and it always lifted my heart to be of service.

Until I couldn't even serve myself.

Postpartum depression can be so severe that you can't think of anything except removing yourself from this planet, because you think that's the best solution accessible to you.

That is heartbreaking.

Even more so when you open up about it and find that SO MANY OTHER WOMEN also suffered from such experiences alone, because of the guilt and shame they felt, or because of the worry that reaching out for help might mean a devastating consequence...

Like the 25 year old mother of three I recently talked to who posted on FB that she was worried she was suffering from postpartum depression and had Child Protective Services show up at her door a few hours later.

She was looking for help.

But what she got was potential punishment.

Life can be hard.

You NEED to have an outlet.

You need to have perspective outside of yourself to remind you that you CAN indeed get through and you have a purpose grander than you can sometimes imagine.

Be of service, but only after you've taken the best care of yourself that you possibly can.

You're so needed on this planet.

You truly are.


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