I didn't think I wanted to become a mother, until...
Conversations with our 3 year-old Wilder...
I intuitively aim to ask my daughter open-ended questions when she asks me one, so that she's encouraged to use her creativity. Thankfully, meeting people like Robert who are trained in the Socratic method of working with young adults, this absolutely seems to bode well for their growth.
Here are some of our toddler's responses:
While reading a counting book rooted in Hawaiian themes with her tonight...
"Mama, what are these women doing?"
"They're dancing hula," I explain.
"Where are the men?"
"Where do YOU think the men are?" I inquire.
She thinks for a moment.
"They're in Mexico."
"Okay," I respond, and smile within. She remembers our recent trip to the beaches of the Yucatan Peninsula.
"We are women," she tells me.
"We are women and we have a man," she continues.
I let her keep going.
"We are women, and we have a man Baba."
When we get to the number 4, there are four different Hawaiian animals on the page.
"What's that?" she asks me.
"It's a nene goose," I tell her.
"Are they nice?"
"Well," I respond. "Do you remember what Baba told you about his experience with the nene?"
She thinks for a moment.
"Do you remember how he talked about the fact that sometimes, they can be aggressive and if you're around them, it's good to be mindful?"
"But this one is nice," she tells me. "Sometimes, animals can be mean, and sometimes, they can be nice. The animals in our house are nice."
(She means the animals in the books in our house, because beyond that, we don't have any.)
As we're wrapping up the book, I hear Wilder ask, "Did they have sex?"
"What?" I respond, a little surprised.
"Did they have jets?" she follows. "In the jacuzzi in Mexico. Did they have jets?"
Oh, that makes so much more sense.
And lastly, when I got home today, I mentioned that I was feeling a bit funky.
"I can help fix it," my daughter immediately volunteers.
"That's really sweet, honey," I tell her, "but it's not your job to fix my problems, okay?"
"I know," she tells me, "but I can fix them. I can give you a hug and it'll fix them."
Then, she leans in and hugs me so tight, and I thank the Universe that I have this little being who opened my heart up to a love I never knew existed in the world.
I've said this before, but for all of my days, I will be beyond grateful I said "yes" when her soul wanted to appear...
Even though it didn't make sense, especially because I had just met my future husband.
Even though it became undeniable she wanted to come into being, so it would've been like moving mountains for us to try to push having a baby together off until a more "sensible" date.
Even though I was raucously sick for 38 weeks of my life, the fact that she is in the world and I am blessed to call her my daughter makes my entire life worth it.
I was never convinced I wanted to become a mother.
And now, I am beyond appreciative every day that I get to experience this whole new world of connection unfolding — even through the challenges.
We are so lucky she chose us to be her parents.
We say it at least 20 times a day. At least.
Wilder is wonderful. <3