Are You Repelling Enough Dates?
Are You Repelling Enough Dates?
By Crista Beck, Dating Expert & Coach
When you’re single and looking for love, it’s important to show up, allow yourself to be seen, and step into your light as the beautiful divine soul that you are.
After almost 10 years in the love and relationship industry, I’ve learned there’s only one thing that scares most single people more than picking the wrong person again.
(And it’s not what you may think.)
It’s the part of a relationship that brings up ALL your hidden stuff and puts it out in the open and into the spotlight…
It’s not just confronting, it can be downright terrifying.
What’s that one thing that scares people the most?
It’s being seen.
Yep, every single person looking for love – including myself, including even the most conscious and open people on the planet – fears being seen in the most vulnerable and rawest way possible.
Putting yourself out there, being seen on a dating site, and taking things to the next level with the person you are currently dating, can all be an intimidating prospect for anyone.
At the end of the day, if you want to overcome your fear of being seen, I’ll let you in on a little secret:
What it all boils down to is one small truth: You.
All you have to do is choose yourself.
Choose yourself over the fear.
Because when you choose yourself, articulate what you deeply value, and put yourself out there as a single person who is looking for love, you’re actually saying: “I may not feel ready to be seen, but I’m willing to be seen.”
The more you put yourself out there, the easier it gets.
Is it going to be perfect? Absolutely not. And look, it’s not fun to risk being seen only to be ghosted or dumped. But here’s the thing:
All you have to do is choose you and what is important to you.
We’re all human beings. The people you date are going to have different world views, and if you want to build a long-term committed relationship that ultimately leads to marriage, they have to know where you stand so that they can decide in reality, and make an authentic choice to fully commit to you.
Many single people approach the dating scene in the most unfocused and general way, but the most successful daters know specifically what they are looking for.
They are focused. They are clear.
So it you are tired of being single and you truly want to find the love of your life, you should absolutely be repelling people.
(Wait, did I just hear that right?. Did she just say I need to be repelling people?)
Repelling potential dating partners is just as important (and just as uncomfortable) as showing up for your right potential partners.
I’m telling you now, you want to repel the wrong people. Trust me.
You’ve gotta go all-in and show up with the people who are gonna love you and what you offer the most; which means it’s time to leave the people behind who don't want the same things out of life that you do.
Because the truth is: All great daters attract… and repel.
Take Christy, for example. She wanted a family oriented man who also wanted to have children. Any man who came her way had to fit these two criteria: family oriented and wanted kids. If they didn’t she’d let them go.
And you know what? Christy did this on purpose (with my mentoring of course.)
She didn’t want to waste her time on men who didn’t currently see children in their future. She was 38, time was ticking, and she didn’t have years to invest in a man who ultimately didn’t want what she wanted: a family.
Christy only dated men who completely jived with wanting a future family. And you know what? There were no shortage of these men!
You’d think that she was perhaps limiting herself by purposefully limiting men.
But when you show up clearly with a powerful intention, the right dating partners will self-select in.
It’s not personal — it’s just dating. Dating is a sorting process.
So if you’re worried about turning potential dating partners off. Don’t. That’s what a great dater is supposed to do.
We make up this story that most people are going to reject us if we are being ourselves. But the truth is that most people are going to love that you’re yourself.
The only trick is to keep showing up.
You won’t be able to meet the love of your life unless you’re willing to put yourself out there.
So show up for the person who wants what you’ve got… and repel the rest.
For those of you who are really committed to finally having that loving relationship, Crista wanted to do something special for you. This isn’t for everybody... this is specifically for those of you who have been struggling with finding the right partner.
Because you’ve read this article, Crista is going to give you a gift. She is going to gift you with a 1:1 “Find Love” Discovery session, completely complimentary!
In this session, you’ll look at where you are now, what kind of relationship you specifically want and what could be stopping you from having what you ultimately want. She will give you some resources to help you right away. Use this link to schedule your complimentary session now! These sessions are on a first come, first serve basis, so schedule yours right away.
About Crista Beck
Crista Beck, The Love Radar, is a dating expert who teaches single people who are seeking a healthy and long-term relationship how to attract quality dating partners, increase their confidence, and take the actions necessary to have the love they deeply desire. She is regarded by her clients as a “romantic healer” due to her holistic and conscious approach to finding a meaningful relationship in the era of hookup culture and online dating.
While Crista coaches both men and women alike, she specializes in helping smart and successful single people who want a secure relationship, but struggle with the fear of picking the wrong partner again. Through her one-on-one and group coaching programs they can stop struggling with the overwhelm of dating and finally feel at home in the relationship they always wanted.